I got the idea for this blog from a song my mother had me listen to in the car on our commute to work and school together. It's called How You Live (Turn Up the Music) and it's by Point of Grace. This song really made me think about my life, and the direction it's going. Down.
I have been diagnosed with Mood Cycling disorder. When the doctor told me that, All I thought was "Great, now all of this makes sense. The depression but not all the time, the anxiety stuff, easy fix right? Just a few pills and I'll be better, right?" Oh how silly of me. I had been taking medications for over six years by this time, and nothing seemed to really be the perfect fix.
I understand now that there will be no perfect fix. It has been about seven years since I started taking medications. Now I feel like I have accepted that my depression, anxiety and mood cycling, it won't go away by taking a pill. Yes, pills might help, but the truth is, it's up to me. All of this is up to me. The attitude that I bring with me every day to school, the friends I surround myself with, and the choices I make, every moment of every single day.
So why am I writing about my life that is headed downhill? Because I am going to stop it, and turn it around, bringing it to the top of the hill, and letting myself be happy. That's the thing, right now I am keeping myself from being happy. I am thinking about things that bring me down when I don't need to be.
I will start thinking more positively and be more centered, acting positively towards a healthier me as my goal for this week. :)
